can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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