chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
