I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize