No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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