If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
