Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
