End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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