Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
