So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
