I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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