So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
