I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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