She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
