found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
