We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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