No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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