JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
