shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
