She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
