Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize