He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
