You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
