I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
