I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
