Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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