Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
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why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
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I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I am available for nakedness
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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