More tranny stories later!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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