ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
God, I missed his penis.
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