covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
