Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize