I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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