***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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