so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
