fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize