the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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