when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
