OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
