Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This is the high leading the old right now
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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