Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
