waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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