oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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