i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
