RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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