If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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