And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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