he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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