Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
