They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
