Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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