he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
