rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
