His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
