I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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