I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
