so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
