my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
