One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
