Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
