My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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