How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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