garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
