I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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