NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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