Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
