It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
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he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
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So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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