it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
