She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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