Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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