I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
