Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
