woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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